Sosia

Hello, there! My name is Sosia. I am the slave of the Theban general Amphitryo, the glorious hero of the siege against -- wait now, who did we fight against (I frankly stayed out of the way so as not to ruin anyone's aim)? Oh, yes! The Teleboeians, not that it matters. The important news is that we're alive -- I mean, that we've won. And we've brought back tons of booty (I hate ships -- I've been seasick the whole time!). I don't know why Amphitryo had to send me in the dead of night from the harbor to his palace to tell his wife we're back -- she's asleep and won't thank me for waking her with a long tale of blood and gore, even if I do have a gold trophy to give her, token of her husband's love. What a long, dark night this has been! My little lantern does more to let muggers know a victim approaches than it does to light the path. Well, you don't say no to the master -- I wouldn't last too long in the silver mines! Better to take a chance on the beating waiting for me on the street -- I hope it's just one footpad and not an army of them!

You are about to see a bit of what happens to me and how I brilliantly defend myself from attack as befits a brave slave of a victorious general. I want you to know that it was not fair of Plautus to set me against a god, especially that bully Mercury (don't tell him I said that or I'll have seven years of bad luck!). If you were in my sandals, how well would you have come out of this?

If you type /activate Sosia (be sure to include the slash), I will tell you how to get Mercury moving so you can see some of this spectacular scene. By the way, do yourself a favor -- just watch and don't say a word. A word to the wise, as they say -- Mercury is a really mean rapper!